These Nazis Get A Protest

It's nice to know that at least one instance of Americans resisting a fascist rally gets favorable news coverage.

Hundreds of people jeered and taunted a group of neo-Nazis who rallied against immigration policy and the Iraq war Saturday on the steps of the state Capitol.

Police estimated about 800 people showed up to counter the Minneapolis-based National Socialist Movement's speakers, but a brief rainstorm thinned the crowd.

Police said 64 neo-Nazis lined the Capitol steps.

Of course, these Nazis make it easy: they take essentially the same name as Hitler's party, and they wear brown uniforms with little arm bands. They are so easy to spot that they succeeded in becoming the target of a pompous newspaper editorial.

But I suspect the mass denunciations are a function of the group's obviousness and inherent weakness. These are alienated white losers who are the remotest of threats to the public at large. They are easy to spot, are not likely to fight back, and thus easy to denounce.

It is rather pathetic that we can so loudly decry these people but shrink to even notice fascists who are Muslim. In the case of Islamic fascism, we fail to see the same hatred, violence, and ideological rigidity that the gentlemen in Madison displayed on Saturday. In fact, not only do we fail to notice, we often fall all over ourselves to prove that we don't notice, endlessly repeating the mantra that "Islam is a religion of peace" and justifying genocidal intentions by pointing out all of Israel's mistakes and none of the Islamofascist crimes.

Protesting the neo-nazis is a useless display given the threat we face from fascists of a different faith.

Technorati tags: neo-nazis | the left

Adblogging: Dance! Dance! Dance!

I can think of few professions more useless then that of dancer. Dance, while pretty to look at, expresses little but the dancer's own athleticism. It has little or no content, and holds little or no intellectual interest. Yet young people in droves seek out this career, and when they need to eat, they can usually find employment in music videos and advertising, two genres where the superficiality of the dancer's art is not a vice but a virtue.

Below are some recent examples in commercials:

Starbucks Doubleshots: Manic, caffeinated hordes are coming to pillage your offices and conference rooms. They stomp, shout, and chant their way through urban America, seeking virgin office managers they can sacrifice to their pagan gods.

There's several fatal errors in this ad, and it not only fails to make me feel enthused about trying the product, it actually makes me want to avoid the product entirely, even if it were offered to me for free.

The first is that the producers attempted to maximize how large the crowd of stompers appears to be. They used quick cuts from dance move to dance move, rearranging most of the dancers each time, to make that hundreds of people had taken the streets. The problem is, they didn't have enough dancers: too many faces repeat. In the final set of cuts, a man sees the crowd then rushes out to join them. However, the same man was in the shot just prior to this, and the fact it is the same man is obvious. An ad with a mistake this obvious does not bring credit to the product it advertises. It also doesn't help that the ad is all about getting ready for the day and in the last shots, some guy is ditching work to go stomp around the streets with a bunch of strangers.

A second flaw is the art design. The ad is all black, grey, and denim blue. It is supposed to have a cool, corporate feel to it, and I suppose it does, but all the ambition it is supposed to inspire crashes against its depressing backdrop. Why would I want to succeed in an environment so completely lacking in joy, around people so dour and intense, and why would I want a product that is intended to help me do so?

The final and most serious problem is simply this: these people are freakin' crazy, I mean totally, completely, balls-to-the-wall insane. I really don't want to drink something that will cause me to act like these people. I'd be more interested in the antidote.

Fanta: I thought the first bunch of Fanta ads featuring the Fantanas were absolutely brilliant. The scantily clad girls, each dressed in a different bright, solid color to represent the different flavors of the drink, would suddenly appear on some hot sweaty scene bringing joy and refreshment. It was all so cheesy and fun that I was tempted a number of times actually buy a Fanta, which is saying a lot for the ad because I never buy soft drinks. I especially loved that each of the Fantana's had a name, as though they were dolls you could collect.

The ads must have been popular, because they have been developed further in a batch of ads. Unfortunately, the producers took what was good, cheesy fun and created a successor that is less clear and much more overproduced. The music changed: it has become a complex and overproduced dance tune, and one that isn't half as fun to listen as before. Second, instead of primarily presenting obvious scenarios that show Fanta is a cool and refreshing drink, the new ads are mostly a jumble of people dancing. This lessens the clear message about the drink the prior version had. The only redeeming virtue of the new ad is that the girls still have names.

"Don't you wanna?" Not as much as before. They should have kept things simple.

Bacardi Mojiti: Apparently, if you are very hip, you are at the mercy of smug, pretentious bartenders. They can make you dance, they can make you stop dancing. Your whole world revolves around them, at least while they are crushing mint leaves for your Mojito. This ad features a muscular dance not unlike the Twist, only without any of the joy or variety of movement.

With all the sweaty bodies grinding about, the underlying message of the ad is subtle. The bartender is only just beginning the drink; he hasn't even added the alcohol. So it takes more thought then they expect the viewer to employ to realize that the entire commercial is saying Bacardi rules the night, and is the sole source of whatever fun one might have. When the drink mixing stops, so does all the dancing in the entire city.

The people most responsive to this ad are those who hope to submerge themselves into the overpriced, soulless world of clubs and parties. Watching it makes me grateful that I am not hip.

And by the way, I don't think a Mojito is a gay drink: Moe-hee-toe.

Technorati tags: advertising | ads | culture | television | tv

Clarity In India

In India's Daily Pioneer, Dina Nath Mishra makes an observation that I can't imagine appearing anywhere in the mainstream Western media, despite that it's truth can be verified by simple observation:

Islam is not past, it is very much alive and clicking all over the world. The number of its followers is next only to Christians. They are present as minority in almost all parts of the world. They are troublesome where in minority; they are tyrants where in majority.

Samizdata discusses a recent example of this phenomenon:

There is a strange article in the LA Times called The Governor's cold shoulder to Muslims, in which Shakeel Syed, the executive director of the Islamic Shura Council of Southern California criticises state governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for refusing to meet with him. The title suggests this refusal amounts to cold shouldering 'Muslims' rather than just certain Muslims (i.e Shakeel Syed).

In reality, all Schwarzenegger did was attend a rally supporting Israel. Demanding he crawl before them apologetically is evidence of a congenital bully. The calls for an apology are meant to demean the governor, and make any other public official think twice about supporting the existence of Israel. Trouble now, as a minority, and giving every indication that as a majority they would be tyrannical.

Technorati tags: muslims | Islam | terror | terrorism

Fentanyl Laced Heroin Dealer Faces Murder Charge

Corey Crump, a 35-year-old convicted felon, is charged with murder for selling drugs to the son of a deputy police chief. "In this case, the body of 17-year-old Joseph Krecker -- still clutching tinfoil packets of heroin in one hand -- was discovered within a half block of the [Crump's] home, investigators said."

While the charge is significant -- murder indictments are rare for selling drugs that cause a fatal overdose -- it is not part of the primary arrests made several weeks ago in the heroin-fentanyl epidemic.

Similar charges involving other fentanyl victims and dealers in Chicago could be forthcoming soon, a law enforcement source told the Chicago Sun-Times. Investigators are awaiting laboratory toxicology results in those cases, the source said.

Krecker is the youngest victim of the nearly 200 fatal fentanyl overdoses in Cook County since April 2005.

"This tragedy is based on somebody's greed," said Jack Krecker, a deputy chief of the west suburban FranklinPark Police Department. "They tried to make more money by cutting this [heroin] with fentanyl. This greed is what killed my son."

Technorati tags: heroin | fentanyl | Chicago

Midnight News -- 8/26/06

According to Kofi Annan, troops from the European Union will provide the "backbone" of the peacekeeping force being sent to southern Lebanon. This will severely deplete Europe's already limited backbone resources. The whole continent threatens to collapse into a puddle.

Russia is experience regular economic growth, but is also suffering severe inflation:

City authorities quickly began handing out bread coupons to him and hundreds of other pensioners in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky - the first time food vouchers had been issued anywhere in the country since the dark days of 1992. But the gesture brought little comfort to [Vladimir] Gaidukas, 72, who lives on 5,000 rubles ($187) per month.

"People are in a state of shock," Gaidukas said by telephone from the remote city on the Kamchatka Peninsula this week.

Muslims in Pakistan are enraged by attempts to change the rape laws in that country. They are profoundly furious at the notion that rape victims might not be guilty of adultery, and thus not available to be stoned.

French socialists are sexist pigs.

There is no redemption for this degree of depravity.

I am glad I am not a polar bear in this day and age.

Other Midnight News Entries

Technorati tags: news | politics | current events

YouTube Barbarians

The revolution may not be televised. The barbarity, however, can be found on YouTube. (NSFW)

From Crime Scene KC.

Technorati tags: Kansas City | crime

Refined Moonbattery

Not all idiots are leftists, but all leftists are idiots.

In a commentary that drips with phoniness, a poster at Huffington Post has stated that although he'd prefer there not be another 9/11, he does sometimes long to see one take place so that the true source of evil in the world, George Bush, might be deposed. Apparently, no sacrifice is too great for other Americans to make in the service of protecting our republic from the depredations of a Texas conservative. This is a point of view so deranged that although those who express it ought to be ashamed, expressing it at all implies a mind incapable of shame.

Ace of Spades is monitoring any attempts to retract post and avoid the repercussions of its vicious insanity.

Technorati tags: the left | 9/11

God Mocks White Sox Fans

The Chicago White Sox have always been the second team in Chicago. Despite their history of losing, the Cubs have always been the most loved team in the city. However, despite their long wait between world series wins, the White Sox have had more consistently strong teams over the years than the Cubs have, a trend that finally rewarded them with a World Series victory in 2005.

While most predicted the Sox would repeat as division champions, if not American League and World Series champions, this year the Sox have not been as good as they were last yer. Though they have one of the best records in the league, they have been in the shadow of the Detroit Tigers all year, and their much praised starting pitchers have been inconsistent at best, not inspiring any confidence in a post-season run like last year's.

As an added insult, the universe has also thrusted the following upon White Sox fans: he Chicago Cubs, one of the worst teams in baseball in the first half of the season, has a better record since the All Star break than do the White Sox. The Cubs are at 19-19 since the break, and this weekend play the faltering St. Louis Cardinals, a team they have dominated this year. Meanwhile, the Sox have an 18-21 record since the All Star game. Most of the Sox losses came in an extended bad run right after the break. they've been playing better more recently, and this weekend seek to expand their Wild Card lead against the Minnesota Twins.

The fact that the Cubs are playing equally as well as the White Sox should frighten Sox fans more than a little. Perhaps an extra prayer or two would help, or maybe a few servings of billy goat stew. Certainly, something must be done to appease the baseball gods.

Technorati tags: baseball | Chicago White Sox | Chicago Cubs

Russia Betrays The West

Tehran responded to the incentive package proposed by the major powers by agreeing to talks and demanding the right to retain all of their weapons programs. Essentially, they rejected the incentives package completely but decided the major powers would be fool enough to sit and negotiate rather then act on threats of sanctions. Tehran has successfully bought themselves time to build a nuclear weapon. This in turn will enable Iran to better project their foreign policy beyond their own borders. Since their foreign policy consists primarily of destroying Israel and bringing about the Muslim apocalypse, their success is the worst news possible for the free world.

The picture below accompanied accompanied the first news of the package:


The caption read:

Britain's Foreign Minister Margaret Beckett, center, speaks as, from left, Chinese Vice Foreign Minister Dai Bingguo, French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, EU Foreign Policy Chief Javier Solana, Germany's Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier and his Russian counterpart Sergey Lavrov listen during a press briefing after a meeting at the British Residence in Vienna, Thursday June 1, 2006. Six world powers meeting to discuss the crisis over Iran's nuclear program agreed Thursday on a 'significant' package of incentives to convince Tehran to halt uranium enrichment, Beckett said. (AP Photo/Ronald Zak)

I wrote at the time that one of the people in the picture would betray us when negotiations with Iran escalated: one of the nation's represented above would decide their short term gain would be best served by siding with Tehran against the rest of the world. Russia has decided to play that role, ruling out any support for sanctions for Iran's defiant rejection of the major powers accord.

Germany's Angela Merkel denounced Iran's response, as did Jacques Chirac. Even Kofi Annan is working to convince Iran to halt uranium enrichment. But Russia will only make token efforts, and is establishing itself as Iran's protector among the great powers.

Now that Russia has assisted Iran's nuclear ambitions, we can understand the news we read as a prelude to the day Tehran tests their first weapon. Iran's former president has aided his successors by reinforcing their cover story:

"Our nuclear program is a peaceful one completely," [former Iranian President Mohammad] Khatami claimed. "We are not trying to create an international crisis, though some countries are trying to do that."

He also repeated a vile threat oft6en heard both from Islamofascists and their appeasers in the West:

Khatami, speaking at a gathering sponsored by U.N. University in Tokyo, defended Iran's "legitimate right" to develop nuclear energy, claiming the program is completely peaceful and poses no threat.

But he warned that pressure aimed at forcing Iran to abandon the program is "creating another crisis in a region that is already ready to explode."

[...]

On Friday, he particularly singled out U.S. Mideast policy for criticism, saying it is fomenting tensions. "Many of the policies the big powers are promoting are promoting violence, although in the name (of) fighting terrorism," he said. "This is like pouring gasoline on a fire."

The argument can be summarized as: preventing evil people from expressing their evilness will cause them to do evil things.

Domestically, Iran is claiming it will soon announce a breakthrough in nuclear technology. The timing is too convenient to be a coincidence. The announcement simply furthers Iran's cover story.

What makes the crisis so difficult is that for two reasons, the Iranian people support the mullahs. First, Iran really does suffer an energy crisis, and while more oil refineries would be the most appropriate response, threats to what is allegedly an attempt to aid the population suffering the crisis will not be popular within Iran. Second, ordinary Iranians support the development of nuclear weapons as a matter of national pride. They assume that if Pakistan and India can have the bomb, they deserve the bomb as well. It is schizophrenic state of mind: we're only interested in peaceful use of nuclear power, and even in case we aren't, we deserve the bomb.

Only brute force can protect us from Iranian mullahs who enjoy their own public's support, and sanctions are the first step in applying brute force. Russia has decided the protection of the West is less important than Russia's short term interest.

Previously:

• Iran Stalls For Time, EU Buys Into It
• Iran Has Deadline
• Place Your Bets, Part 3
• Place Your Bets, Part 2
• The Dance Continues
• Place Your Bets
• "Iran nuclear talks nearing accord"
  

Technorati tags: Iran | politics | nuclear weapons | Israel

The Following Story Is Not News

Phoenix is in the middle of a desert, and the soil there just can't hold much water. So on the rare occasions when it rains heavily, the washs and arroyos that are everywhere in the city fill up and Phoenix experiences flash floods.

Yet every time it rains heavily, some idiot decides that they can ignore the street signs that warn them not to cross through a wash when the road is flooded, gets himself trapped, and has to be rescued. It happens like clockwork, and usually the "victim" of is some SUV driver who thinks himself invulnerable to the laws of physics that apply to other drivers. It really doesn't deserve to be called news.

It happened again in the recent rains in the Valley.

Heavy rain caused flooding in the Phoenix area Thursday, turning normally dry riverbeds into raging rivers and trapping motorists.

Firefighters waded into the Indian Bend Wash to help two people out of two cars and walk them out of the swift knee-deep water.

This is near where my relatives live and where I grew up. There are plenty of signs telling people not to cross.

Elsewhere, a woman driving through a flooded Phoenix intersection became trapped momentarily, but firefighters rescued her without incident, said Mike Sandulak, a division chief with the Phoenix Fire Department. Several other cars were stranded in the intersection but no one else needed to be rescued.

Emergency personnel in other jurisdictions also reported calls to pull people from stranded vehicles.

Some of these people may have been caught accidentally by the floods, but my experience tells me that is unlikely. Not recognizing the danger of heavy rains, they decided to ignore the warnings of street signs and press their luck. Bad move.

Technorati tags: Phoenix | floods

A Poison Hatches Out

Hezbollah's war against Israel did not result in the complete annihilation of Hassan Nasrallah's illegal, private army, and thus is viewed by far too many as a victory for Hezbollah. That organizations momentum, coupled with their successful propaganda efforts concerning Israel's air strikes, has allowed those who wish to hate and kill to openly declare their desire to hate and kill.

Jewish leaders in Italy on Thursday condemned recent newspaper advertisements likening Israel's military offensive against Hizbullah operatives in Lebanon to Nazi massacres and fascism.

In a statement issued at the end of a meeting with Interior Minister Giuliano Amato, the Committee Against Discrimination and Anti-Semitism said the ads also generated intolerance and hostility toward the Jewish community at a delicate time.

Israel's existence is the crime which such people decry, an idea that is a crime in itself.

Technorati tags: Israel | ant-semitism

Time According To Blogger

The other day I wrote about some of the troubles I had with the new blogger, primarily that I could not edit the new template's HTML. The official Blogger Buzz wrote that this functionality would be coming in "days not weeks." That was 8 days ago, and thus we are now in the time frame of weeks not days.

Even though I tend to be loyal, I'm getting a little peeved. This layout is nice, but it isn't me, and it has some serious flaws compared to what I had before. Most importantly, I can't place the "I Stand With Israel" javascript in the upper right, a circumstance about which I'm not happy at all, seeing as how I do stand with Israel. I also can't display any of the Google ads I signed up for now that I'm using the beta version of Google's own blogging system, a strange problem given it's all the same company.

So I wait, impatiently.

Technorati tags: Blogger | Blogger Beta

Yet Another Road Trip

This grows a little tedious.

I'm on another road trip. I knew it was coming, but I was informed that a colleague and I would be leaving this morning at 7:30 rather than Thursday. Not the best way to get an itinerary, especially with a pregnant wife I'd rather not be away from.

In any event, blogging will be light until Friday evening.

Technorati tags: travel

Midnight News -- 8/23/06

The Congolese finally heard the results of their historic election, and they did not like the results at all. Riots and inter-party violence broke out when it was announced a runoff would be required between incumbent President Joseph Kabila and former rebel leader and runner-up Jean-Pierre Bemba. Kabila received 45% of the vote to Bemba's 20%. The European Union has sent troops to quell the violence and support UN peace keepers, and President Kabila is begging his army to remain in their barracks. Much of the capital Kinsasha has shut down. The greatest disappointment in the election is that it failed to unite the country and that much of the voting fell along tribal lines. It is foolish to have expected a Switzerland to erupt after a single election.

We should not be glamorizing the functionaries of the state. This is how we go from a government of public servants to one of courtiers and mandarins.

Much controversy ensued in Scottsdale, Arizona when the Pink Taco restaurant chain moved to town. Now, the family behind the chain wants to purchase the naming rights for the new Arizona Cardinals stadium across town in Glendale. They've pledged 30 million dollars to indicate their seriousness, but I have no doubt their only goal is to keep their company's name in the headlines. As successful as they have been, they must be smart enough to know that the lead-in to a televised football game could never begin: "Coming up, the 49'ers take on the Arizona Cardinals, live, from the Pink Taco in Glendale, Arizona."

Other Midnight News Entries

Technorati tags: news | politics | current events

The Bugs Are Here

Once again, mainstream journalists are ignoring a grave threat to mankind, hoping to shield incompetent authorities from criticism for the horror that approaches:

Have any vivid memories of carting away shovels full of large, red-eyed flying insects back in 1990?

The Lake County Forest Preserve District would like to hear about them.

They're the damn government, don't they keep records? Maybe they should turn over bug work to credit report companies: they remember everything.

The district is seeking information from residents as it prepares for the emergence next summer of thousands of 17-year periodic cicadas, which appear all at once, in contrast to annual cicadas, which mature and emerge at different times.

[...]

"It only happens every 17 years and people tend to remember it because it's pretty fantastic when it happens," said Jennifer Filipiak, a wildlife biologist with the district. "I'm sure we'll get stories from people remembering having to shovel them away."

I would hope the people who had to shovel them away had the good sense to sell their houses and move away. Giant piles of dead bugs don't exactly remind me of home sweet home. My first call after clearing the dead bugs would be to a realtor. Actually, my first call before clearing the dead bugs would be to the realtor, and my question would be, "Why didn't you warn me about the giant piles of bugs?"

Also known as 17-year locusts, periodic cicadas are related to leafhoppers, not true locusts, which are a kind of grasshopper. They have red eyes instead of the green eyes of annual cicadas.

Cicadas are harmless insects with wide-set eyes, short antennae and transparent veined wings.

Harmless? They sound horrible. How can something that ugly be harmless? It's incongruous, and I don't believe for one second these bugs are harmless, no matter how many "biologists" and "scientists" say so.

The eggs for the 17-year cicadas were laid in 1990. The bugs have been living underground ever since, Filipiak said.

For 17 years they've laid in wait, and now are ready to launch their attack. We've had all that time to set up our defenses, yet our government has done nothing to protect us. So what do reporters do? They ignore the fact the authorities have no plan whatever to cope with this threat, and even help the desperate authorities by calling on the public to do Lake County's job. Disgraceful.

Think about that when a bug with giant, red eyes comes for you and your loved ones.

Technorati tags: Chicago

The Chevrolet Cobalt Is A Horrid Car

On Sunday, I rented a 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt to get from Memphis to rural Mississippi. I didn't choose that car by request, it was simply the one Hertz gave me, probably the cheapest rental the company had and thus the preference of my current employer.

I can say without any hesitation whatsoever that the 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt sucks to high heaven. It sucks so hard that not even light can escape. I would also say it blows, but that would be an insult to things that blow. If I had a million dollars, I would buy as many Cobalts as I could and destroy them all in painful, tortuous, sadistic ways, then send the dismembered pieces to the people who designed it. It is an absolute, unmitigated disaster of a car.

Here's what happened:

I got the car Sunday evening and got to my destination relatively quickly, as I noted yesterday. It drove well for a little car, though I didn't like the fact it was bright red: cops tend to ticket red cars for speeding more than any other, and I was most definitely speeding. Monday morning, I got up and drove another hour or so to a small college in Mississippi, where I gave a presentation until 12:30 pm. I was headed back to Memphis by 12:45, trying to catch a 6:05 flight.

I took the Natchez Trace Parkway. If you ever have to drive through Mississippi, I highly recommend that road, which cuts across the state from the southwest to the northeast. It is precisely the kind of road that people mean when they refer to lovely back-country roads: nothing but thick woods and an occasional idyllic farm. There's no commercial traffic allowed at all, and since it was a Monday afternoon, there was little other traffic. A truly beautiful drive.

I was making good time, but I was so busy enjoying myself that I didn't realize I was quickly running out of gas. The only problem with the Natchez Trace is that it never passes through any towns, and only has occasional exits to nearby towns. I also had no cell phone reception whatsoever. If I ran out of gas I was going to be stuck for a very long time.

I drove several miles hoping for an exit to something other than a camp site or trail head, and luckily got my wish: an exit to Utica, Mississippi. I took the exit and drove a few miles and came to a ramshackle old general store with a couple of gas pumps out front. I figured I'd fill up and be back on the Natchez Trace in a few minutes.

I pulled up to one of two pumps, one that did not have a sign that said "pump out of gas." The equipment was so old it did not have any way to pay at the pump, so I went inside, dropped some money on the counter, and said "I need $10 worth of unleaded." The lady behind the counter said, "Oh, we're out of gas."

I didn't argue with the logic of putting a "pump out of gas" sign on only one of two empty gas pumps, and instead asked her politely where the next gas station was. She pointed me down the road to a station a few miles away.

I walked back to my car praying the thing would start. Before I got in it occurred to me I had still had the air conditioning blasting, wasting fuel, so I turned it off, turned the radio off, and tried start up. Happily, the car started fine and I peeled out of the store as fast as I could, the rear windows now rolled down.

I got the car up to about 50 mph, the posted limit, and all of a sudden it started to shake violently. Really violently. So violently I could hardly control it. Worse, I felt pressure in my ears like someone was holding me down under 20 feet of water. I slowed down a little and the shaking reduced some, but not completely. That's when I heard thumping sound coming from the back of the car and I realized I probably had a flat, acquired from the dirt and gravel lot at my previous stop. I reduced speed to 40 MPH, the fastest I could go and still feel I had some control over the car.

I thought, to hell with it, it's a rental: a few miles on a flat won't kill it, and with any luck there will be a mechanic at the gas station I was headed to, one who could help me put on a spare or maybe even fix the flat. At that point, I'd given up hope of making my flight: I would have been happy to get as far as civilization and a decent hotel.

I got to the station to learn it was just another little country store, so there would be no mehcanic to help me, but when I checked the tires I realized I didn't have a flat at all. So something else was wrong with the car. I felt some hope that the shaking had somehow to do with the empty gas tank, and that once I'd filled up the car it would go away. I got my gas -- $15 worth just to be safe -- and I realized I had no idea what highway I was on, what direction I was headed, or how to get to the interstate that would take me to Memphis. I asked the lady at the store for directions and she pointed me down a state highway, and assured me it would take me to the interstate. The problem was, no more Natchez Trace, no more easy, no-commercial-traffic driving.

I got on the state highway and took the car up to 50 MPH and once again it started shaking viloently. I realized then that it didn't matter what road I was on, this car wasn't going to get as far as Memphis. The shaking had to have been more than just an empty tank or a flat tire. There was something profoundly wrong with the car, somehow suddenly acquired in the gravel parking lot of the decrepit little store I stopped at first. I slowed down to a controllable speed, hoping only to get to the outskirts of Jackson, where I could call Hertz's roadside assistance, get another car, and call my office to arrange different travel.

I spent about 30 minutes driving like this, frustrated at myself for not asking how far Jackson was from the last store. I kept looking ahead for signs of the city, some kind of easy-to-find location so Hertz could come resue me. I started to get hot, and realized I still had the air conditioning off and the back windows rolled down. Now that I had plenty of gas there was no point in being uncomfortable, so I rolled the windows up and blasted the air. Like magic, the car returned to normal. I almost didn't believe it. I accelerated slowly, first to 45 MPH, then 50, then 55, and no bone-rattling, head-crushing vibrations.

It couldn't be the air conditioning, could it? That would be crazy: how can turning the air off cause a car to shake so violently it could barely be driven? It made no sense at all. Just to see, I turned off the air and accelerated a little bit more. No shaking. I turned the air back on and realized there was only one possibility: having the rear wiindows down in a 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt made the car dangerously undrivable at speeds above 45 MPH.

My exact thought was: "No freakin' way." Seriously, how could a car be designed so badly that it couldn't be driven when the driver made the not unusual choice to roll down the rear windows? How is it possible a mistake like that could get past all the testing a car company must do? This made even less sense then the air conditioning. I simple refused to believe it. I drove a good 5 minutes unwilling to even attempt to roll down the rear windows to test the possibility. It was simple inconceivable to me that the car could be designed so badly that it could kill a person for rolling the windows down.

But eventually, the scientific method won out. I rolled the rear windows down about half-way, and the violent shaking began. I almost lost control of the car because I'd taken one hand off the wheel to press the button to roll the windows down. I slowed to a speed where I could control the car with one hand and rolled the windows up, and the shaking stopped. I even tried it with one window down, and while the shaking was lessened, it was still impossible to drive the car safely above 45 MPH.

I theorized that having the rear windows down created an air pocket of some kind, one so severe that it made the car completely undrivable at high speeds. That would explain both the shaking and the pressure I felt in my ears.

With the windows rolled up, I could again drive fast, perhaps fast enough to make it to Memphis in time for my flight. Though I had to deal with all the traffic on the two-lane state highway I was on, plus all the stop lights as I neared Jackson, I was able to get to the Hertz agency by 5:00 pm. It helped that I averaged about 90 MPH once I got to the interstate. I had plenty of time to get through security and to the gate. The plane happened to be delayed about an hour, but as my wife pointed out, if I had driven the speed limit, the plane would not have been delayed at all and I would have missed my flight.

So, to recap: the 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt is a steaming bucket of horse piss. If you are driving more than 45 MPH and you roll down the rear windows, there is a strong chance you will lose control of the car, drive off the side of the road, and get yourself killed. Other than that, it's a good car.

Technorati tags: travel | 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt

Midnight News -- 8/21/06

Despite condemning Israel's commando raid in Baalbek, Kofi Annan is expected to announce that the UN peacekeeping force in Lebanon will be allowed to use force to keep the peace. Perhaps Israel's raid sent a sufficiently loud message to the world that Israel would take the provisions of resolution 1701 even if no one else did, thus spurring Annan to make a change in UNIFIL's rules of engagement.

South Korea is taking a keen interest in whether the North is planning to test a nuclear weapon. This despite saying that U.S. claims of an impending North Korean nuclear test were unfounded.

The human oddity that has claimed the murder of JonBenet Ramsey flew in style from Bangkok to Los Angeles. Sitting in business class, John Mark Karr sipped champagne, had a beer, then enjoyed a supper of chardonnay and fried prawns. Some commentators have suggested that indulging Karr was a ploy by Boulder, Colorado investigators, an attempt to soften Karr up for an interrogation. Others, by which I mean myself, have suggested the cops who escorted Karr were too distracted by the man's weirdness to think to say no. It has also been reported that while in Thailand, Karr visited a sex change clinic. Drunkablog has been covering the Karr case more than is probably healthy.

Controversy during a cricket match between England and Pakistan on Sunday exposed tensions between citizens of Muslim countries and those of Western countries. I frankly have no idea how cricket works, but the drama surrounding it, as described at Samizdata, is intelligible and captivating.

The Maori queen has died. Long live the Maori king.

Teachers at my old grade school in Scottsdale are making special efforts to make sure kids attend the first week of classes. The problem is that many families are on vacation through August, and that many are newcomers who don't realize school starts on before Labor Day. Life is good for a public school educator when those are the worst problems.

Other Midnight News Entries

Technorati tags: news | politics | current events

Travel Notes

Some miscellaneous notes from the road:

• United Airlines owes me frequent walking miles for all the times I've had to hike to the furthest corner of O'Hare's terminal 1 to catch a flight.


• Did you know that there is a headquarters for the American Contract Bridge League? Did you even know there was an American Contract Bridge League? I knew neither until I drove by their large, white office complex in Memphis today. I did a double take and nearly veered into the car in the next lane. Their looking for a new accountant: you need a masters degree and to bid three clubs.


• I was driving through a dark portion of the interstate tonight and saw what I thought was giant metal Star of David on the back of a flatbed truck. I spent maybe ten minutes ruminating on who in rural Mississippi might want a giant metal Star of David before the truck passed under some lights and I realized I was seeing things: it was just a big metal frame held down by ropes. I should have been more skeptical when the phrases "giant metal Star of David" and "rural Mississippi" passed through my mind simultaneously.


• Two trips ago I had to buy some new luggage before my return flight because I'd torn the very old bag I'd brought with me. I got a rolling duffel bag from a PGA-themed shop in the airport and thought to myself, "Wow, that was really cheap for something for sale at the airport." But it wasn't cheap: it was overpriced for the completely useless bag it turned out to be. It literally fell apart at the seams as I took it downstairs to the garage on my way to the airport today. Now I have a new axiom: if you see it on sale at the airport, and it sounds like a great deal, it's because it's a piece of crap. The only things worth buying at the airport are overpriced, like wireless access, and liquor.


• I made what AAA said would would be a 4 and a half hour drive in 3 hours and 20 minutes. All those hours playing Grand Theft Auto finally paid off.

Technorati tags: travel

On The Road, Again

I get to fly again today! Yay!

It's another short flight, but still a hassle, especially with all the issues surrounding airports lately. As long as the flight includes no Muslims wearing coats and sweaters in the middle of summer, I'm sure it will all go well.

The absolute bestest part of this trip is that after I land, I get to drive for four hours in a rental car! Double yay!

It's my own fault. Partly because of issues I kept having with making connections and long flight delays, I proposed a new travel policy for our company. It requires us to fly direct to large airports and then drive to a final destination, as opposed to taking a short commuter flight to a small airport. This applies when the destination is a 4 hour drive or less. It makes sense when you consider that even a one hour flight can mean up to three hours of extra travel, including waiting time at the gate, and that two flights doubles the chance for an extended delay. We figured the extra hour is worth it since by driving we some control over whether we arrive at our destination at all.

But because of the policy, I have to drive four hours through Tennessee and Mississippi, do a presentation in the morning, then drive another four hours to get my flight home.

Needless to say, blogging will be light until tomorrow night.

Technorati tags: travel

Next Comes The Giant Bugs

A massive earthquake has hit the South Pole:

A powerful earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of at least 6.9 hit in the Scotia Sea between South America and Antarctica, Japanese and U.S. officials said Sunday.

No tsunami alert was issued by the Hawaii-based Pacific Tsunami Warning Center, said Dale Grant, a geophysicist with the U.S. Geological Survey's National Earthquake Information Center.

The warning center monitors seismic activity in the Pacific area.

The quake struck at 1:41 a.m. local time (0341 GMT) with a preliminary magnitude of 6.9, the USGS said.

Japan's Meteorological Agency put the preliminary magnitude at 7.2.

The USGS estimated the earthquake's depth at 10 kilometers (six miles). The quake was centered in the Scotia Sea, approximately 495 kilometers (305 miles) west-southwest of Bristol Island in the South Sandwich island group, the USGS said.

Isn't an earthquake at the South Pole pretty much how giant bugs are released from the earth's core? Or how an ancient monument is revealed that contains a gate that allows travel to other solar systems? Isn't this how we discover an underground continent populated by dinosaurs and giant apes?

I'm growing a little alarmed here. Haven't these journalists learned anything from science fiction?

Technorati tags: earthquake | South Pole