I know little of Australia and nothing at all of its sports culture, but I can assure you that any story that starts off with a paragraph even remotely like the following will receive my utmost and full attention:
A beautician at the centre of a sex scandal involving AFL football broadcaster Rex Hunt says she never had sexual intercourse with him and was never paid for their trysts.
I am so reading the rest of this.
Robyn Hood [what were her parents thinking], 40, of Melbourne, admits a nine-year relationship with Hunt, a 200-game player who later turned to a lucrative career as a football caller and television fishing show presenter.
Insert balls and rods joke here.
"Rex was never unfaithful to [his wife] Lynne," she said. "We never had sex."
In the world outside Ms. Hood's head and certain quarters of the Democratic party, this statement is understood to be a self-serving falsehood.
Hunt was "an exhibitionist" who would arrange to meet her in public, usually in a lane, Ms Hood told New Idea [an Australian magazine].
She always remained clothed, but Hunt would remove his clothes by the end of their encounter.
He's quite the gentleman.
Last month, in confessing affairs with three women including Ms Hood, Hunt said he paid for sex - reportedly up to $1000 a week.
But Ms Hood denied this and said she was "deeply hurt" by the allegation, saying she only received gifts of money to buy a dress, flowers or luxury items.
"But there were no regular payments. There was a sum paid when I handed over the notes and tape - a taped conversation, little love notes, Christmas wishes, notes to help me buy a car - I was asked to hand them over, which I did," Ms Hood said.
"I was offered a sum [to end the relationship] but it wasn't $50,000 [as reported]."
Yes, $50,000 is the cutoff between hush money and a delightful parting gift.
Via Colby Cosh's excellent From The World Press (note that in a few weeks you will have to search the archives for his post).