Drunken Apes

The deer are coming to kill you, but don't expect help from any Hungarian apes:

Monkeys and apes at the Budapest Zoo drink their way through 55 liters of red wine each year, albeit in small quantities each day, to help boost their red blood cells, the zoo said Monday.

Budapest Zoo spokesman Zoltan Hanga said it was the 11 anthropoid apes who drank most of the wine in 2005.

"Obviously, they do not have it all at once and get drunk, but they get it in small amounts mixed in their tea," Hanga said.

Sure, you go ahead and believe that Zoltan.

Wait a minute, they get wine in their tea? They drink tea? Do you put peyote in their scones, too? If you do, then I am so there! I'll bring the chips.

"And it's not Eger Bull's Blood or some expensive wine that they are getting but simple table wine, as it's mainly good for their blood cells."

I would pay a lot of money to know why people pay a lot of money for something called Eger Bull's Blood.

Bull's Blood from the town of Eger in northeast Hungary became one of Eastern Europe's best-known wines under communism.

So these are drunken commie apes, no less!

I picture them now with glasses held high, slurring their way through L'Internationale.

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