Sunday, July 23, 2006

Adblogging: Miscellaneous

Fig Newton / Snack Fairy: the one where the woman in the park refuses to believe the snack only has x calories (or whatever) and the snack fairy says, "What if I got nine supreme court justices and your grandmother to tell you that it's true?" When the grandmother and the justices appear there's one judge, the tallest, with gold stripes around his upper sleeve, just like the late Chief Justice Rehnquist wore for the Clinton impeachment trial. Clever to remember that.

Comcast Digital Voice: the one with the guy dressed up in a cheap Robin Hood costume, firing a toy arrow at the "Phone Company" van. As he makes his heroic stand, I picture his wife drinking her way through a third box of wine.

Burger King "Stackers Union": So basically, if you bite into one of the new Burger King Stackers, and you feel something wriggling around in your mouth, it might be a tiny little construction worker, victim of a horrible industrial accident. I'm sticking with Wendy's.

Hanes Underwear: I think Michael Jordan is stalking Kevin Bacon. First, Jordan shows up when Bacon is alone shooting hoops. Jordan blocks the shot, then flashes a surly smile. Next, Bacon comes home and tosses his keys into a bowl on the counter, and once again, Jordan is there and blocks the shot. Jordan somehow charmed his way inside! Next, Bacon tries to toss a crumpled piece of paper into a waste basket, and again Jordan blocks the shot, this time sliding in on a rolling office chair. Apparently he was just loitering around Bacon's house.

This is creepy. There might be some weird, O.J.-type stalking thing going on -- a famous, jealous former star athlete, a skinny, pretty white chick ... well, okay, technically, Kevin Bacon's a dude, but hey, it's the 21st century! Get with the program!

Dial For Men Bodywash: the one with the tuba-led chorus chanting while a guy gives a speech about the importance of being a man. I absolutely love this ad. Whenever I see it, I want to stand up and sing along. It speaks to me. But if you ever catch me buying myself a product with the word "bodywash" in it, please take a tire iron to my head.

That's probably not the reaction the advertisers wanted.

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