Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Fun With Referrer Logs

From a review of my referrer logs, I can see that most visitors who come to this site via a web search find relevant information. That is, people who search for "map of gaza" will find an actual map of gaza here; those who search for "fentanyl" will find various posts about recent surges in the number of overdoses due to mixing that drug with heroin.

But once in a while someone visits as a result of a search and I know with utter certainty that they did not find what they were looking for. I know how badly this can feel. From time to time I'll want to know something and a google search returns nothing but irrelevant results, ones in which the search terms may somehow appear, but which in no way provide the information I desire.

I'd like to assist some of those readers who came here as the result of some search but who did not find anything at all like what they wanted. Each of the headings below is a search phrase found in my referral logs. I'll try to offer some kind of helpful comment for each, or, failing that, at least an explanation of why my site appeared.

"july 12 and 7 year and nuclear war and religion"
I'm not sure why my site appeared for this search, but I think this person was trying to decide if he ought to indulge his apocalyptic worries. The symmetry of the dates of recent terror attacks is a little alarming: 9/11, 3/11, 7/7, 7/11. But I know of no particular reason why evil should be confined to a calendar. If you plan to worry about the apocalypse, I'd recommend worrying full-time. Terrorist attacks can't be relied upon to follow a strict schedule. If anything, the vague sense of unease some might now have regarding certain dates is probably one of the terrorists goals: we'll not likely treat 3/7 or 12/11 as ordinary days for a long time. That fear disappears if the attacks become too predictable.

"elizabeth hasselback, arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical, simplistic"
I wrote a post a while back about Star Jones leaving the talk show The View prior to the imminent arrival of Rosie O'Donnell. I mentioned that my wife, this blog's official entertainment reporter, wondered how long it would be before the temperamental, rigid, and left wing O'Donnell verbally assaulted the polite, Republican Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

I think this search stems from an incident on a recent episode of The View. Hasselbeck became more vocal than usual after the other hosts (hostesses? or is that sexist?) seemed to deride her conservative opinions about marriage.

I'm actually not sure I can help this person. You have to really hate somebody to think you would find a wealth of sites that use exactly those terms to describe her.

"zidane head bunt"
First of all, the correct term is "head butt", not "head bunt". A "head butt" is when you use your head to attack somebody, which is what Zidane did to Mazeretti. A "head bunt" is the wrong way to move a runner over in baseball. The bat is the preferred instrument for such tasks, not the head.

This person probably found the site because I mentioned the World Cup final in this post, and live-blogged a couple of baseball games in some other posts -- here and here. The video he or she seeks can be found here.

"xanga cheesebox for teenagers who hate teenagers"
I have no explanation for this whatsoever. Sorry.

"what does check the basement for pods mean"
Well, friend, I'll tell you what it means. It comes from the movie Invasion Of The Body Snatchers; the original was made in 1956, and a remake was made in 1978.

The phrase refers to the central plot device of the movie: aliens would grow in pods found in people's basements, and when they emerged they would be perfect duplicates of the people who lived in the houses where they grew. It's used to refer to anybody who displays a sudden change in personality. I used it in the title of this post to refer to leadership of the Marine Corps, who suddenly seemed to leave behind their ultra-patriotic image in favor of political correctness.

"maria mccarthy scottsdale arizona"
Again, I'm not sure I can help with this. The search found the May archive page of this blog, which referenced "Maria McCarthy" in one post and "Scottsdale, AZ" in another. As far as I know, Maria McCarthy has never been to Scottsdale, nor has Scottsdale ever been to Maria McCarthy.

"john thomas republican candidates ucc infiltrate"
I wrote a post that was critical of the head of the UCC (United Church of Christ) for penning a letter to the editor co-signed by a Muslim activist with a history of rabid anti-semitism. The point of the post was to indicate that unless leaders of left wing organizations, and I think the UCC qualifies, disassociated themselves from people such as this activist, that I had the right to conclude that such groups shared the activists hatred of Jews. I stand by that point.

What I find interesting about the search is that it suggests the UCC is somehow meaningful enough an organization to be threatened with infiltration by -- gasp -- Republicans. It's sort of cute that such a little congregation has members that think they are the target of some Rovian plot.

"when is the ets going to release mcat scores from april"
The results from an MCAT test are mailed to test takers four to six weeks after the test date. You've probably already gotten them, but if they were disappointing and you plan to take the test again in August, now you know when you will receive those scores. I should also point out that ETS does in fact have anything to do with the test: the MCAT is published and administered by the Association Of American Medical Colleges.

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