Hugo In Russia
Hugo Chavez has been making a show of himself in Russia:
"He calls Christ the first socialist in the world; George Bush an alcoholic; pro-Washington Latin American presidents poodles of imperialism", writes Andrey Yashlavskiy in the Moskovskiy Komsomolets daily.
Christ teaches us to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, which is somewhat less than everything. I don't think Julius Chavez would settle for so little.
The military paper Krasnaya Zvezda headlines its front-page article with a quote from the "charismatic" Mr Chavez: "I am a brother of the Slavs."
Channel 1 TV was impressed by Mr Chavez's arrival at Volgograd airport when he was offered a shot of vodka.
"The Venezuelan president demonstrated good knowledge of local traditions," the TV reports, "he drank the vodka from a Cossack's sabre and without eating anything."
Maybe he'll drink himself to death.
The Trud daily is also fascinated by the "extraordinary and controversial leader".
"Hugo Chavez, an indigenous Indian with some African blood in his veins, whose speech is peppered with proverbs and vulgar slang, has a messianic quality, not uncommon in politicians with spice in their blood."
Lots of people have thought themselves the messiah, including Jim Jones and Charles Manson. It is unwise to give such people a country.
The Komsomolskaya Pravda tabloid notes that Mr Chavez "took notice of Volgograd girls" and quotes him as saying: "I have always liked Venezuelan women, but looking at yours, I can see that I have lost a lot."
The paper adds that as he was saying this Mr Chavez put "the heavy hand of a Venezuelan peasant" on the girl's shoulder.
That poor girl.
Nezavisimaya Gazeta prints what some Volgograd residents had to say about the Venezuelan leader.
They call Mr Chavez "a unique phenomenon", "a sensible but eccentric guy" - although very few seem to know much about Venezuela as some suggest it is either "a place in Italy" or "in Africa", or "a shop in central Volgograd".
Hugo Chavez is a political gangster of the first order, as his choice of friends amply demonstrates. It pains me to say it, but I think we're stuck with him.
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