Midnight News -- 8/12/06
The government of South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun is attempting to take exclusive control of the armed forces of its own country, dismantling the Korea-U.S. Combined Forces Command. Military leaders and conservative activists are vociferously resisting these efforts.
A federal judge will make the state of Illinois pay for it's attempt to restrict the First Amendment.
No witnesses were harmed in the making of this crime.
Uber-sherrif Joe Arpaio, of Arizona's Maricopa county, is threatening to arrest two radio DJs for encouraging bestiality, in particular for paying a listener $550 to eat peanut butter off the.... Okay, I'm not saying where the peanut butter was. Although I wonder why they chose an English Bulldog in particular.
A terrorist squirrel is tormenting Florida children, no doubt because of the war in Iraq. Or because of something someone did to it with peanut butter.
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