Saturday, August 05, 2006

Midnight News -- 8/5/06

A Canadian reporter discovers that sometimes when Americans say a country is a brutal police state, that country really is a brutal police state.

Kossack favorite Ned Lamont, soaring above rival Joe Lieberman in the polls, sharply criticized the evil that is Wal-Mart. It was later revealed that Lamont held shares in the evil that is Wal-Mart. As much $31,000 in stock, as a matter of fact, a sum I would be happy to take off his hands, should the hypocrisy be too much for him to bear.

Tour de France "winner" Floyd Landis will learn in the early morning whether he passed the "B" sample doping test. Should he fail that test then the process will be turned over to U.S. anti-doping authorities. Landis could very well win an appeal of their findings: many athletes who have challenged the testosterone-epitestosterone tests have succeeded.

George Bush, following a yearly tradition, begins a vacation at his Crawford ranch. Crawford is hot, dry, dusty, and seems to me thoroughly unpleasant as a vacation spot. He must really love Texas.

Chicago police shut down two large drug markets on Friday, arresting 21 people in the culmination of a months long sting. They should have just applied the big box ordinance if they wanted to drive the business out. It worked on Target.

In Russia, the cosmetics industry is crippled by oppressive regulations and high licensing fees. The reason: Russia imposes strict controls on any product that contains even tiny amounts of alcohol, as most cosmetics do.

Sri Lanka, a nation on the brink of collapse, defeated South Africa in cricket. Apparently,

Muttiah Muralitharan claimed his 55th five-wicket haul in Test cricket as Sri Lanka dismissed South Africa for 361 on day one of the second Test.

Muralitharan bowled 33.5 overs on Friday, capturing five for 128 after the seamers had set up the game for Sri Lanka with early breakthroughs.

When the veteran offspinner claimed his fifth wicket with the penultimate ball of the day he also became only the second bowler in the world to complete 650 Test wickets after Australia'’s Shane Warne.

It boggles my mind that those paragraphs might actually make sense to somebody.

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